TELEPHONE BAR
149 2nd Ave. (between 9th and 10th Sts.), New York, 10003 (East Village). (212) 529-5000. 6 to Astor Place.
Food:
Service:
Food coma:

Telephone Bar's low-ceilinged basement space has just enough British clutter on the walls to please Anglophiles without looking too much like a theme park. Dimly lit by scattered halogen lamps, it banishes sports fans to a back room but rewards them with a projector TV and a tiny fireplace, and it uses three squat pillars to separate its wonderful long bar from its dining area.

Brunch comes with a cocktail or juice, and a basket of bread and little muffins. The bloody Mary was intensely peppery, and the mimosa, O rapture, used fresh, pulpy juice. The eggs were perfectly poached, hot yet still liquid, fresh from plating. Black forest ham, lightly grilled, is used instead of Canadian bacon, to no great effect. The hollandaise was buttery and generous, but the menu had advertised "dill hollandaise," which usually limited to the smoked-salmon based variant of this entrée. Yet this hollandaise's dill was limited to decorative flecks; the decorate parsley bordering the dish added more flavor. Good sauce, just bad advertising. Home fries comprised cubed potatoes with onion but no pepper.

The dish is decent enough, but it deserves only two stars, not only for the un-dilled hollandaise but the missed opportunity to Anglicize the dish. A British-themed restaurant could do more than offer optional bangers -- as does Telephone Bar, appropriately spiked with mysterious grain -- with eggs Benedict. Use Irish instead of Canadian bacon, or add tomato or mushrooms or beans to the home fries to make those closer to the full English breakfast. Eggs Benedict fans are not afraid of food coma.

Rest rooms: .
Handicapped access: Only entrance is down a long, narrow staircase.